Monday, September 20, 2010

A little bit of He-Story

Actually this story is quite simple...

It's a story as old as time itself. Boy meets Alien-Girl and falls in love. Boy is also heir to the throne. Prince-Boy and Alien-Girl got married. Prince-Boy is also Captain of the guard. Captain-Prince-Boy has a Brother. Brother is also Blue, making him Blue-Brother. Blue-Brother is jealous of Captain-Prince-Boy so he plots to seize control. Traitor-Blue-Brother gets an army and attacks Powerful-Castle-Filled-With-Powerful-Old-People. Traitor-Blue-Brother brings acid with him. Big Mistake. Captain-Prince-Boy defeats Traitor-Blue-Brother, burns his face and becomes King-Boy. Burnt-Traitor-Blue-Brother asks Powerful-Magic-Evil-Being to save his life. He transforms into Skeleton-Blue-Sorcerer. King-Boy and Alien-Girl have twins, but Princess-Girl is stolen by previously mentioned Powerful-Magic-Evil-Being. King-Boy decides to give half of his world to his brother, but he's kind of a douchebag and he gives him the dark creepy half, and keeps the best half with the beautiful beaches, lots of sun light and cat people to himself. Finally Skeleton-Blue-Sorcerer decides to come back and take over and Douchebag-King-Boy has to rely on his son's (Prince-Fancy-Pants) split personality to save the day.

I mean, anyone can see it coming. Right?

Well, I got one of the main players in that story sometime ago and it's time to talk about him:

This is Traitor-Blue-Brother

Keldor, brother of Randor, that is. The figure is a great piece but I'm not loving it completely. I mean, it was a cool idea to give Skeletor a human background, and to make it a treacherous brother is actually pretty poetic. The figure looks great too, but there's something that just doesn't do it for me. First, there's just no explanation to why he's blue and Randor is not. Did Randor's father had more than one spouse? Was that legal in Preternia? Is Keldor a bastard? I don't know, sometimes I wish to know... Sometimes I just want to imagine a really big bed with King Miro (or whatever Randor's father name is) in the middle and a lot of girls from all the colors of the rainbow. That sounds more like Conan than He-Man, but wouldn't it be great?

Anyway, Randor is the good guy and Keldor is the bad guy, and you know this by their choice of facial hair. If you don't know it by now, you should always remember:

Keldor was not part of the subscription so he could be easily avoided, but I battled with myself when I decided to buy the 200X Keldor, and since I lost that battle and got that figure in all his burning glory, why go through that again?

Keldor comes with two half boring Power Swords, as I said before, I'm getting sick and tired of Power Swords by now. But he also comes with the one thing the character needs. Since you will only want this character to replay that scene when his face is melted like ice cream on a pan. Hmmm, Ice cream on a pan... Wait a minute...

OK I'm back... Ice cream on a pan sucks, it's a terrible idea, don't try it at home. Where was I? Oh yeah, Keldor comes with the only accessory he needs: a vial of acid to utterly destroy his face. Ah, good Eternian times!

Fictional characters should know better by now...

Until next time.

(I was going to talk about She-Ra too, but this post got too long already and I have to work, I'll catch up to MOTUC before I review Carnivus. Guy-Pretending-To-Be-A-Scout's honor!)

1 comment:

LEon said...

This is the first time I see a human face of skeleton. Nice figure.