Thursday, February 17, 2011

Aesthetics vs. Backstory, my two cents - Part III (last one until the reboot)

OK, It's time for the last part of this nonsense, and like Spiderman 3, let's end with a bang. Let's talk about toys that look like crap and don't make sense.

Hey, it's just like Spiderman 3

This looks bad and doesn't make any sense.

Well, I don't have a lot of toys like that. Basically because I am with toys the same way Anton Ego (the food critic from Ratatouille) is with food. He said "I don't like food, I love it, and if I don't love it, I don't swallow". Basically the same, but without the voice of Peter O'Toole. A toy must have at least something I like, otherwise, I don't buy it.

For example, this would be such a toy, the Dora the Explorer Aquapet...

Not the best designed toy ever, right? And as Anton said, "if I don't love it I don't swa...". Hmm maybe I shouldn't use that quote with this toy...

Anyway, I searched my collection in order to find a toy that fitted that description and I found this:

That, forgive me for showing it, is a Neytiri from a McDonald's Happy Meal. And man, it's awful. It has four point of articulation, hands and legs, a horrible sculpt and horrible paint apps.

I know you really can't expect much from Happy Meal toys, but they are usually better than this. I only bought this for a Silly Toys strip I did a while ago and, quite frankly, I'm amazed I didn't throw it away right then and there.

OK, but that is all about the figure's looks, why doesn't it make sense. Well, if you pull Neytiri's tail up a little LED light inside her glows. Isn't that pretty?

I didn't really liked Avatar, I was expecting much more (in terms of telling a story) from the guy that did Terminator, Aliens and The Abyss. One of the thing I didn't like is that everything in Pandora was bioluminescent, everything had a LED light inside, even the fucking grass... The only thing that didn't glow in the whole damn planet (or moon, whatever) was the blue cat people. That's why this toy doesn't make any sense.

If you ever find a toy with these characteristics. DON'T BUY IT!

Remember you still have three days to enter the contest and win an amazingly cool Bionic Bjoern. Here.

Until next time.


Scott said...

Wow, that Dora toy is............. wow.

Super-Duper ToyBox said...

... yeah, Dora...umm, pretty grown up :D
that's some funny shit, Freaky LOL

Highskull´76 said...

Although I didn´t like Avatar a lot...didn´t the na´vi glow when they got excited or something like that? their faces at least.