The sum of his parts

If you read this blog often...

(And you should totally do, since it's been said that reading this blog improves your general health, lowers the price of gas, makes food taste better and increases your chances to get lucky with a stranger in a bar *results may vary from reader to reader*).

As I was saying, if you read this blog often you'll remember some awesome resin figures designed by the German multimedia artist Hauke Scheer. The mind of Hauke, a very scary place I'm sure, was able to create a Urinal personal hygiene robot, a hairless genetically altered werewolf from another dimension with grenades in his nipples and a Squid warrior from the depths of the ocean. And guess what, he's just warming up.

Hauke sent me his latest work a little guy I like to call (actually... He likes to call) Bionic Bjoern:



A little background on the character from Hauke himself: "In 2065 a weapons company started to create cyborg soldier clones based on the DNA of an ancient Viking berserker warrior. Called "Bionic Bjoerns" by the public these warrior soon became the military product of its time".

Man, and you thought "Hairless genetically altered werewolf from another dimension" was a complicated origin story... This little piece of information makes the figure more appealing, it gives a certain sense of, you'll excuse the word, realism.

OK, so the story is awesome, but let's talk about the figure itself.



Two things that come to mind when you first see Bionic Bjoern.

First, the figure is 7 inches and it's not articulated (most resin pieces aren't) so this may be more like a statue or a (dare I say it?) staction.

The second thing that strikes you is the incredible level of detail the sculpt had. There's not a part of this figure that doesn't have a little mechanical detail, except the flesh, but even there you have scars and probably the creepiest thing about Bjoern, a tube coming out of his belly button... The writer in me (and by that I mean the guy I pay to write clever stuff for me in order to look like an intellectual) suggests that the tube can be a genetic design, a way to keep feeding or fueling Bjoern like an unborn baby through the belly button so he doesn't need to drink or eat. That would make him a very efficient warrior. Also, it's Gross.

The figure comes in three parts: The main body, the Gatling gun arm as a separate piece you have to attach and a really heavy base that doesn't really need 'cause like of the rest of Hauke's figures, he stands perfectly on his own.



The paint apps are very good, since this run is limited to 50 pieces, I guess the QC was pretty strict. One thing to note is that some parts, especially the arm you have to attach have very thin parts that you may break. Hauke told me this and I was sweating like a pig when I put it together. Luckily, since I'm a fairly clumsy guy, the figure is sturdy, but I would recommend being careful.

This is the first "human" figure we get from Hauke and the face is an interesting point to debate. For starters I thought a cloned berserker warrior would have been more angry. But Bjoern looks calm, with an almost dead expression (even a little sad). I think that works well for the "mass produced soldier without feelings" aspect of his story.

That reminded me of the movie Soldier with Kurt Russell:



OK, OK, so the movie is pretty bad, but the concept is cool. Plus, in that movie Argentina had Moons. MOONS! And that makes it OK in my book.

The only thing I would say to Hauke is that he gave us four awesome figures from four different lines and stories. I think he can't stop his mind and is always chasing after the next project, the next idea, the next figure. I'd love to see more characters from these series before going into the next. And I'm only saying this, because I know he designed a toilet robot to go with the urinal robot and if he doesn't make that one I'm gonna go to Germany and force him to do it.

And since I don't want this post to sound like a threat (but it totally is), here's a comic starring Bjoern:



Until next time.