Podcasts killed the radio star!

Some of the awesome guys at the Action Figure Blues Forum are doing an amazing job with their weekly toy related podcast. It's very funny, informative and since they are from Australia you can laugh at their funny accents and giant spiders. 

They only uploaded three episodes so far so if you start now you should catch up in no time. It's great for buses, subways, planes, long drives, to avoid your nagging family and to escape the real world. Oh, and also it's free! Need I say more?

So, go here, download and listen, and don't do it just because they said I could win free toys if I pimped the podcast, no, do it because it's great fun.

And while you download the first episode, listen to this and remember the time you could actually see music videos on MTV.

I'm a Liar! (so, what?)

League Business: Never say die!

Goonies. Where are they now?

The third weekly assignment of the League was to propose a sequel to an 80s or 90s movie with kids. I probably chose the obvious one: The Goonies. Why? Most of the other movies I wanted to write about already had sequels (That Figures took care of that), I can't stand Tom Cruise, so Michael May can keep him, and the other one I wanted, Labyrinth, was already done by Christopher Tupa, so I went with the one he originally wanted: Goonies.

Here's the sequel I thought of, done today, with less innocence and a bit more cynicism, and probably directed by Guy Ritchie. The title of the film is "Never say die",  I'll use the characters to tell the story:

                                                               Mikey (Sean Astin)

Became a writer and had a moderate success with two series of adventure books for kids: Goonies and The Tales of One-Eyed Willie. But it's been five years since he published anything and is experiencing writer's block for the first time in his life.

                                                                  Brand (Josh Brolin)

He got married with his high school girlfriend, Andy, and they tried for years to have a child with no success. Thinking it's his fault he started drinking and Andy eventually kicked him out because of his problems with alcohol. He sells cars and asks Mikey if he can stay at his house for a while. When Mikey sees him like that, he forges a fake treasure map with some research he was doing for his next book and wants to reunite the old gang to cheer him up, Brand thinks it's rather stupid, but he's to wasted to argue.

                                                                 Chunk (Jeff Cohen)

After the cops shot Sloth to death thinking he was an out of control monster, Chunk lost his positive spirit and trusting nature. He also lost a lot of weight. He owns a strip club called the Truffle shuffle. When Mikey calls him him immediately says no.

                                              Mouth (Corey Haim... Feldman, I mean Feldman)

Became a local radio DJ, and he has a pretty decent fan base. He decides to go with Mikey and Brand to do a piece on treasure hunting, he carries a voice recorder and never shuts up.

                                                           Data (Jonathan Ke Quan)

He made a lot of money with the patents for some of his inventions, founded several companies but eventually grew bored of all of them, he now owns a company that makes iphone apps. He accepts the invitation to join the gang right away, he calls his secretary say he's not going to be available for a few days, puts on an overcoat and says he's very anxious to try some of his new inventions.

                                         The Fratelli brothers (Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano)

 Mama Fratelli got the chair for murder and her two sons were next in line. But after the death of their mother, they escaped by killing two guards and wearing their clothes. Instead of hiding or fleeing, they decided to find the kids responsible for their mother's death and kill them. They eventually find them in the old mines where Mikey said the treasure was buried. Brand was calling Andy on his cell when they find them and start shooting. Brand asks for help.

                                                                 Andy (Kerri Green)

She eventually became a lawyer and got married to Brand. When he calls her she was with her friend Stef, not knowing why, she decides to take the call. Brand tells her he's with Data, Mouth and Mikey and he mentions the mine. That's when the Fratellis find the gang and start shooting at them, she asks Stef to help her and they go.

                                                                Stef (Martha Plimpton)

After college he got into politics, he had a fling with Mouth, she's very ashamed of that, especially because he keeps mentioning it in his radio show. She was visiting her friend Andy when she got Brand's call. Together they go get Chunk and head for the mine.

Then there will be a gun fight, more shenanigans with dynamite and one of the Goonies will get shot. Who? You'll have to watch the movie to find out.

Oh, and they find an actual treasure too.

Well, that was it. It's Oscar material, I'm telling you!

Until next time.

                                                                          In Memoriam

Oh My Effin Gosh

You know? I never really understood that "F word" thing, there are a lot of words that start with an F, like Frank, or Fantasize, or Felony, of Factory, or Fabulous, or Fetish, or Forbidden, or Fixation and of course, Fuck.

So I could write

Eff often Effied about committing a Eff in the Eff he worked 'cause he had an Eff Eff about all those Eff things. But this Eff will eventually Eff him in the ass.

See? a lot of Eff and only one Fuck.

(Of course you can still read the sentence like this: Fuck often fucked about committing a fuck in the fuck he worked 'cause he had a fuck fuck about all those fuck things. But this fuck will eventually fuck him in the ass. So, I guess we're even).

Sorry about that, let's do this now:

The OMFG (Outlandish Mini Figure Guys)! I'm so happy about these I can't even begin to tell you. And the whole toy world is as amazed and happy with these as I am, and that gives even more joy.

The idea for these figures started on the October Toys / Toy Break forum, an awesome corner of the Internet I have the pleasure to be a part of. George Gaspar there had the idea to produce through Kickstarter a series of M.U.S.C.L.E. like mini figures designed and sculpted by the incredibly creative forum members. Artist, that, unlike myself, have actual talent.

The best five were voted and the Kickstarter page set up. It was a huge success.

I followed the process very closely, I submitted ideas, gave feedback on other peoples ideas, got feedback on mine, watched a thread with all time favorites and late minute submissions, voted and contributed. And I wasn't the only one.

As Daniel AKA TurboPistola AKA the guy that designed the great OMFG logo wrote, these truly are "for the people and by the people".

And now to individual characters. I will also tell you a secret I renamed all of the characters.

The Stroll was a last minute submission, and since everyone loves Spanky Stokes he got a ton of votes. The fact that he was sculpted by George Gaspar himself is not a small matter either.

(He also has a great hairless ass! I'm not trying to say anything by that, but you all know how many votes a hairless ass will get you in a popularity contest...)

I call him "Buttclops".

Since the beginning everyone in the forum knew that one of the figures designed by (my personal friend, thank you very much) Charles Marsh (Monsterforge) was going to make it. He's an amazing artist and an awesome guy. And when he came up with Multiskull we all knew there were only four spots left in series 1.

If you don't have a set (what the Hell are you waiting for? Go get one) you can't really tell how tiny the skulls actually are. I'm trying to paint one of these and I have no idea how Charles could sculpt anything like this.

I call him "Skull Reunion" (get it?)

The Crawdad Kid is another example of amazing sculpting skills, the detail on this figure is breath taking.

                                                                       So is that face.

Daniel Yu, the guy from Singapore that did this must have a really really really steady pulse. The claws alone are a work of art.

I call him "Captain Lobster"

King Castor by Dominic Campisi (Also known as The Evil Earwig... Hey Dom, someday you'll have to explain this nick name, mine is easy, my name is Tom and I'm a freak... Yours... I don't know). Anyway, King Castor is so much fun it's actually the only one I'd like to see in other scale. I want a big King Castor, one that opens and is a figure and also a playset, with trap doors and a lava pit or something.

Oh, and a working steam engine in the back. And arm canons that actually fire little rubber balls with springs. Don't tell you don't want that, 'cause I don't believe you.

I call him "King Castle", is not very imaginative, but that's how I thought it was called in that original thread, and the name just got stuck on my head.

Finally, the Phantom Shithouse, I know there's a PC name for it/he/whatever but fuck it, if I can say "fuck" I can say "shit". Many reviewers said "I can only imagine what those arms and legs are made of", well I don't need to imagine, I know, they are made of shit, human shit probably, since animals don't use the Out(Shit)house.

It was designed by Kyle Thye and sculpted by Ralph Niese and is, in a word, Shitabulous!

I don't have an alternate name for the Phantom Shithouse. But I would pay real money, from my pocket to produce a Scooby Doo episode with this guy as the villain. Velma would say "Jinkies, it's Old Man Shithouse" and Scooby would say "Row Ran Ritrouse?" and Fred would say "He was scaring people with foul smells to make a parking lot in the old abandon amusement park" and he would be all like "and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids, and your dog and now I'll smell like shit forever".

Whew! This was a long post... I need a Scooby Snack.

Until next time!

Thunder Crap, but in a good way

Hey guys, so, this is the schedule I'll try to keep up from now on: One video blog and one post every week. Starting this week. Fingers crossed, toes crossed and... Well, the rest too.

I'll also start posting pics of the figures I videoblog about.