Oh My Effin Gosh

You know? I never really understood that "F word" thing, there are a lot of words that start with an F, like Frank, or Fantasize, or Felony, of Factory, or Fabulous, or Fetish, or Forbidden, or Fixation and of course, Fuck.

So I could write

Eff often Effied about committing a Eff in the Eff he worked 'cause he had an Eff Eff about all those Eff things. But this Eff will eventually Eff him in the ass.

See? a lot of Eff and only one Fuck.

(Of course you can still read the sentence like this: Fuck often fucked about committing a fuck in the fuck he worked 'cause he had a fuck fuck about all those fuck things. But this fuck will eventually fuck him in the ass. So, I guess we're even).

Sorry about that, let's do this now:

The OMFG (Outlandish Mini Figure Guys)! I'm so happy about these I can't even begin to tell you. And the whole toy world is as amazed and happy with these as I am, and that gives even more joy.

The idea for these figures started on the October Toys / Toy Break forum, an awesome corner of the Internet I have the pleasure to be a part of. George Gaspar there had the idea to produce through Kickstarter a series of M.U.S.C.L.E. like mini figures designed and sculpted by the incredibly creative forum members. Artist, that, unlike myself, have actual talent.

The best five were voted and the Kickstarter page set up. It was a huge success.

I followed the process very closely, I submitted ideas, gave feedback on other peoples ideas, got feedback on mine, watched a thread with all time favorites and late minute submissions, voted and contributed. And I wasn't the only one.

As Daniel AKA TurboPistola AKA the guy that designed the great OMFG logo wrote, these truly are "for the people and by the people".

And now to individual characters. I will also tell you a secret I renamed all of the characters.

The Stroll was a last minute submission, and since everyone loves Spanky Stokes he got a ton of votes. The fact that he was sculpted by George Gaspar himself is not a small matter either.

(He also has a great hairless ass! I'm not trying to say anything by that, but you all know how many votes a hairless ass will get you in a popularity contest...)

I call him "Buttclops".

Since the beginning everyone in the forum knew that one of the figures designed by (my personal friend, thank you very much) Charles Marsh (Monsterforge) was going to make it. He's an amazing artist and an awesome guy. And when he came up with Multiskull we all knew there were only four spots left in series 1.

If you don't have a set (what the Hell are you waiting for? Go get one) you can't really tell how tiny the skulls actually are. I'm trying to paint one of these and I have no idea how Charles could sculpt anything like this.

I call him "Skull Reunion" (get it?)

The Crawdad Kid is another example of amazing sculpting skills, the detail on this figure is breath taking.

                                                                       So is that face.

Daniel Yu, the guy from Singapore that did this must have a really really really steady pulse. The claws alone are a work of art.

I call him "Captain Lobster"

King Castor by Dominic Campisi (Also known as The Evil Earwig... Hey Dom, someday you'll have to explain this nick name, mine is easy, my name is Tom and I'm a freak... Yours... I don't know). Anyway, King Castor is so much fun it's actually the only one I'd like to see in other scale. I want a big King Castor, one that opens and is a figure and also a playset, with trap doors and a lava pit or something.

Oh, and a working steam engine in the back. And arm canons that actually fire little rubber balls with springs. Don't tell you don't want that, 'cause I don't believe you.

I call him "King Castle", is not very imaginative, but that's how I thought it was called in that original thread, and the name just got stuck on my head.

Finally, the Phantom Shithouse, I know there's a PC name for it/he/whatever but fuck it, if I can say "fuck" I can say "shit". Many reviewers said "I can only imagine what those arms and legs are made of", well I don't need to imagine, I know, they are made of shit, human shit probably, since animals don't use the Out(Shit)house.

It was designed by Kyle Thye and sculpted by Ralph Niese and is, in a word, Shitabulous!

I don't have an alternate name for the Phantom Shithouse. But I would pay real money, from my pocket to produce a Scooby Doo episode with this guy as the villain. Velma would say "Jinkies, it's Old Man Shithouse" and Scooby would say "Row Ran Ritrouse?" and Fred would say "He was scaring people with foul smells to make a parking lot in the old abandon amusement park" and he would be all like "and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids, and your dog and now I'll smell like shit forever".

Whew! This was a long post... I need a Scooby Snack.

Until next time!